Even If...

Years ago God put a statement deep in my heart that I knew was a way He was going to call me to live my life.

Even If...

Even If all of the things that could go wrong, start to go wrong, what are you going to do? What choice are you going to make? That being said, it really didn't cross my mind for years why God would have spoken that to me out of all things He could have said. I have to say that the past 7 years of being naive about what God wanted to do with me was pretty great. Yet in the last 2 years of my life, it has been made clear that it was now time to put that to work. Without going into too much detail, in my own life and in the lives of some of those who are close to me, God has allowed some trials to come up that have me asking myself, do I really mean it? It was easy to say it to others and have them try to live it out. Yet, now this is me. This is my life. This is my closest friend's life that has been shattered my learning her husband has been living a double life. This is a close family friend who has lost their baby. This is the simple fact that in the blink of an eye, life can make a 180 and toss you so hard you don't have any idea which way is up. Over the last 8 months God has added 3 words to what He spoke to me 7 years ago that has changed my life. You know what else...It has thrown me for a loop.

Even If Not...

That's right. Even If...Even If Not. Even if all of the things that could come your way do? What are you going to do Even if God decides Not to answer your cries for help in the way you thought He would. Even if your kid gets deathly ill. Even if God does Not heal them. Even if your spouse deeply betrays you. Even if your spouse does Not choose to stop the lies and help heal your heart. Even if you are a victim of a terrible car accident. Even if a check for your $500,000 in medical bills does Not show up in your mailbox. I'll be honest and say that when I started to realize how God was calling me to live my life, I got really, really scared. I mean, would God go through trying to show me all of this if I didn't have something waiting for me in the future where I am going to need to use it? A tad bit daunting...a tad. So as I wallowed in a bad mix of fear/anxiousness/excitement I found myself in this short, direct and life changing conversation with God.

Me: Alright God, I get what you're sayin. I get what it is that you want me to do with my life. Even If...Even If Not. But you gotta tell me how in the world I am supposed to start this. How do I do that?
God: First, Love Fearlessly.

That was it.
So I sat down to write it out.
Even If...
Even If Not...
Love Fearlessly.

(By the way, Cindy Beall wrote a great post about When God Says No that I think helps sum up the Even If Not part of things.)